Jennifer Darknight (inuyashanohime) wrote,
Jennifer Darknight

Crack!Fic / Crossover: Sonic the Hedgehog + FullMetal Alchemist: "Astraphobia"

Title: Astraphobia
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist (2003) + Sonic the Hedgehog
Characters: Roy Mustang, Miles "Tails" Prower, Jean Havoc
Genre: Humor / Family
Author's note: This is part of a cracked-out Universe of my creation, in which, after a transmutation gone wrong (which is later revealed to just be the Chaos Emeralds going haywire at the end of Tails' Adventure, right after the final battle with the leader of the Kukku Battlebirds), Roy Mustang finds a five-year-old Tails lying unconscious in front of him. Fixed with no choice, Roy is forced to look after the kid, in hopes of finding out who he is, and it was either that or having him shoved in a lab and experimented on. The entire thing is pure, absolute CRACK, but after discussing it with a friend of mine, I might actually make something of this...even if it was written and thought up at 4 in the morning during a case of extreme sleep deprivation. 
Author's Note 2: Tails is 5 years old in this fic (since he's taken right after Tails' Adventure), and this takes place prior to episode 13. 
Warning: Unbetaed and crackfic.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. 
Note: I'll start working on those drabbles for that meme ASAP, now that I finally have some free time on my hands.

“What's up with you, Chief? You don't look so hot.”

Not hot, huh? Well, he supposed that was a good enough phrase for it. Cooled off, lack of spark, eyes drooped, shoulders wanting to fall through the floor despite (and perhaps because of) the orange-furred bundle gripping his hand with childlike force. His hair was probably up in all directions, expression slack-jawed and mouth barely working despite all the coffee that his small charge had pumped him with that morning before work...

“Roy couldn't sleep last night 'cause of the storm.” The small fox threw Havoc a smile that could only be described as conspiratorial, though if Roy had less of a heart he'd probably throttle the little thing. “He's scared of thunder, you know.”


The Flame Alchemist sat up, glancing over at the tufts of fur and large ears that stuck out from under the blanket. Odd...Tails had slept in his own bed that night—what bed a tiny baby's bed could constitute for—he hadn't noticed him crawl into his...

The lump in his bed was shivering, scooting closer to him as the rain continued to pour down outside.

“Roy, um. Can I...uh...sleep with you?”

“Tails, you have your own bed. You don't need to share mine.”

“But it's stormy.” He retorted, ignoring the man and practically crawling into his lap.

“You don't like storms?” He shouldn't have been as amused with that as he was—really, what five-year-old kid, regardless of species, liked getting called out on something he was scared of? Really, Roy had to learn a lot about children.

“Nuh-uh, I'm fine!” Tails squeaked. “I thought that YOU wouldn't be okay, 'cause of all the thunder an' lightning, you know. So I thought I'd protect you. Yeah, that's it.”

His 'protecting' led to him crying half the night when the thunder started hitting, and a distressed Flame Alchemist rocking him to sleep to keep him soothed and quiet...which only worked at around two in the morning, giving him maybe four hours of sleep at the very most.

The things he did for that kid.

Though Havoc really didn't have to humor him.

“Oh, does he?” the Lieutenant raised an eyebrow. “Never caught him as the type.”

“Yeah!” How the hell did that kid get so much energy?! He was practically bouncing where he stood, twin tails swishing behind him--if Roy didn't know better, it was as though he was doing all he could not to just start twisting his tails and start flying in the middle of the hallway. “I stayed with him, though—I protected him from all the lightning.”

“Well, that's good. Wouldn't want our great leader to get defeated by some spare lightning bolts, now would we?”

The blonde soldier threw a wink in the fox's direction, and he could do nothing but giggle, gripping Roy's hand tighter.

“No way!” Roy wondered if the kid knew that whispering louder than he spoke really wasn't whispering, even if he did hold his hand close to his mouth. “Then Roy wouldn't get to use my ultra-cool paper sorter. I made it when he was sleepin' at his desk yesterday.”

...The thought of a simple invention should not have sent the man to let go of the child's hand and walk to his office as fast as possible, but with the infamous 'microwave' and 'super-awesome auto-bath' incidents still fresh over his head, he was not about to take any unnecessary chances.

Tags: crack, fandom stuff, fanfiction, fma
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